Beauty in the Transparent

My natural tendency in life is to hide my struggles and hardships.  In fact, I think most people do. For whatever reason we want to live in our own little bubble and keep the hard things to ourselves so when we go out among friends everyone is wonderful and happy and we can escape the hardships waiting for us in our minds. But really, is this wise or Biblical? What if in the Bible none of the authors ever wrote about their faults or the struggles of others? But instead only wrote of triumphs, miracles, and encouragement. Those triumphs, miracles, and encouragement wouldn’t mean anything unless there was loss, sickness, and hardships beforehand. Those times of loss, failure, and confusion make a triumph all the more beautiful, when we can see how God orchestrated events and thoughts and plans to bring about His perfect will that is far more perfect than we could have ever imagined. 

What if Simon Peter never told anyone he denied Christ three times, and it was not recorded in the Scriptures? What if we had never heard of King David’s adultery and murder? We’d have a very different picture of these men and would see them almost as “supermen” instead of the sinful but godly men they were. The same applies to us. Part of remaining humble is to share struggles and sins. But so often our pride gets in the way and we prefer to post a rosy picture of ourselves and not share our true struggles.

When I think about when I’ve had the most encouragement either from a talk, sermon, friend, or advisor, they are the times when they have shared their struggles and shortcomings and then how they overcame it with Christ’s help. Now I’m not talking just about how I struggled with selfishness for the last couple of years, or depression early in my life. I’m talking about specifics, the nitty gritty, specific situations. Such as how I spoke rudely to a friend and how it damaged our relationship and then how we grew back together. Or how I used to say this thing to my husband and how it wounded him and caused strain in our marriage. Or how I was so self centered in my family and here are the examples of how it caused pain. 

Most Christians can say they’re struggling in their prayer life, or being too lazy with Bible reading, or lacking motivation for this and that and not feel too bad about it. It’s almost the “thing to do” to make it look like you’re a good Christian and aren’t too proud. But I ask myself, when was the last time I confessed a specific sin to a friend, or really shared what was on my heart and made myself vulnerable? Vulnerable. No one likes to feel vulnerable. Yet vulnerability is what draws true friends together. As bad as you might think your sin is, I can guarantee you many, many people have struggled with the same thing before. So do you want those around you and after you to struggle with the same thing again? Or would you rather share your struggles and how you dealt with it to encourage them in their Christian walk? James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Next time you’re with a dear Christian friend, share what struggles weigh on your heart. What sins are you fighting against right now? What lessons has God taught you recently? Name some of the ways God has answered your prayers in ways you never could have imagined. Share God’s unexpected blessings in your life. Give hope to those around you and share stories of God’s faithfulness. 

Capturing the moment

A primer on capturing a moment in time by taking pictures . . .

Last night I was at my Nana’s house organizing pictures that she has taken over the last 70 years. I don’t believe she has thrown away a single picture, ever. She has never organized them, and hasn’t looked at the most of the pictures since she had them developed. As I sat organizing I considered how important these photos are in representing life, as my nana looked through them, her life went before her eyes. From when she was two until last year, all the pictures were there. And being a rather avid photographer myself, it reminded me of the importance of capturing these moments.

Photos are not the most important part of memories. The stories are. A picture of a brown horse means nothing to you, but to me I remember the stories my Papa has told me since I was a little girl, living on a sheep station in the outback of Australia, what his horse was called (Cordite), and how he used to ride them as he herded sheep, killed rabbits, and rode to school. With those memories, the picture now means something special.

It doesn’t matter that the picture didn’t have perfect composition, wasn’t properly framed, or had poor lighting. It was a simple picture, but it meant something because of the story it told.

As you go through life, take pictures and capture memories. You can take a picture of a beautiful sunset or your delicious dinner, but a couple of years down the road those won’t mean anything. You will have seen more colorful sunsets and eaten more unique food. But if you include your friends sitting and watching the sunset, or the people eating the food, then you have created a memory.

What I've learned:

Capture today, the now. 

Take a picture of you with your phone, iPod, refrigerator, or computer. It sounds stupid now, but 30 years from now your children or grandchildren will loving poking fun at you for thinking you were hip and techie.

Capture a moment. 

Instead of a sunset, have your friends jump in front of the sunset so you have a lovely silhouette.

Give context. 

Don’t just take a picture of a face; give it a story and a background. 

Zoom out. 

Instead of the face in front of a garden, try a person in the mud in the garden on a rainy day.

Movement. 

Movement in pictures gives the eye something to imagine. If everyone is simply standing still then the mind moves on quickly, but if they’re walking, jumping, or laughing it causes the brain to imagine the details and tells a story and captures the feeling of the moment.

It’s worth the trouble. 

I don’t always feel like taking pictures. In fact probably half of my pictures I didn’t feel like taking, I would much rather have just sat, talked, or watched the moment go by. But I’ve learned from experience that months or years later I’m not going to remember the “trouble” I went through to take the picture. But instead I will remember the time and experience even better. I can be reminded of details that I have forgotten.

Print. 

Pictures that never come off the Internet or a computer don’t do you a whole lot of good. Hard drives crash, websites go down, and files are lost and forgotten. Instead print the pictures and put them in a box. It will be lots more fun to go through an album or box of photos then to flip through them on a screen.

 

Record when, who, and where.

 In the moment you take a picture you can never imagine forgetting your friend’s name or where you were. But a couple of years down the road, memories start to blur together.  So, make it simple. Write all the details down immediately. It will save you tons of time and frustration later.

anthology of thanks from A to Z

Anna, me. God has given me an incredible life

Blogging, baking, beds (my bed is incredibly comfortable)

my trip to Congo, chocolate covered pomegranate

my amazing dad, my loving dog who shows me unconditional dog love

examples of people who live their life for Christ, exercise

fellowship with fellow believers, family, cozy fires in winter

grandparents: I'm thankful to have both sets still alive, Greek- taught to me by my grandpa

home, hair- specifically my long curly hair

inspiration that comes from many different sources: nature, people, Scripture

jasmine

kitties that sit in my lap and purr

laughter, learning about life

my most amazing mom, music- radio, playing the piano, singing, iPods

nature-made food

ocean

photography, pumpkin bread with chocolate chips

quiet

renewal, reading

simple pleasures in life, smiles

technology, it makes life much easier in many ways

unconditional love

vitality

warmth both figuratively and physically

that I'm not a xanthippe. (Emily said I had to use a word that actually started with the letter x and I couldn't come up with one, so I came up with a word that I'm thankful I'm not:  an ill-tempered woman)

yearning for a heavenly home

zeal for life

 

Today..

Today I'm...

I've been thinking how I should have take more pictures at the White Unto Harvest conference. I believe I took 3 the entire time. Talking just took up all my time. 

Still thinking what a wonderful Oyster Roast we had on Saturday. 

Tons of people + oysters + desserts + laughter = A fantastic party

Learning french. 

Learning a new language takes time, a lot of it. I just started French, so far I enjoy it, but then I've only been studying it for three weeks. Ask me in a month or two. 

What is it with girls and chocolate? 

I'm editing pictures from a photo shoot with this dear family. 

While listening to this beautiful song. I've listened to it over and over again. My favorite part starts at 2:15. I may or may not rewind that sections many times over... If you haven't listened to Piano Guys yet, do!

The sermon yesterday was on the importance of feasting with fellow believers. In the Old Testament the Jews feasted 22% of the year. Feasting is a time for building up the Body of Christ. Often it is hard to have fellowship when you leave church right after the service. I am thankful for the wonderful fellowship I enjoyed yesterday with fellow believers. The two hours we spent talking with believers was so refreshing.

I woke up to the soothing sound of rain pattering on my window this morning. Only problem is soothing sounds make you want to stay in bed rather then get up in the cold darkness of early mornings. 

I've been practicing this piano piece. I almost have it down and it's lots of fun to play. 

And last but not least my brother is home for Thanksgiving and we're very glad to have him back. 

Lessons from the French

When I went to the Reforming Food and Family conference in July, one of the speakers was a French chef. He talked about the importance of making time to serve food that is both beautiful and delicious. I have summarized some of his points here. Just make sure to read this post with a French accent!

A meal is a rest from the day

Family meals are landmarks in the day

The Giver of the gifts must remain central

Food was the instrument in which sin entered the world

When Jesus was raised, he ate in heaven

Eating on the run is like listening to classical music on speed play

Styrofoam plates are the most disturbing invention of the century

Eating good food on a foam plates is like putting a great painting in an unworthy frame

A dish well presented is already half eaten

Affect your 5 senses in a meal

You don’t want the good to become the enemy of the best

Butter is better

Butter + salt + eggs does not equal death, but hollandaise sauce

Eat a variety of everything in moderation and balance, small proportions

Bigger is not better

~

Recently, I have become somewhat of a foodie. And I really like taking pictures of food. Personally, a good picture can make anything look good. Here are a few of my favorite food blogs with scrumptious recipes and stunning photography. 

Sprouted Kitchen

Seven Spoons

Beyond the Plate

Kitchen Notebook

Sunday Suppers

I'm pretty sure some of these bloggers could boil cardboard and make me want to eat it...

Why do You Wear What You Wear?

Last year we drove 12 hours up to Ohio on Thanksgiving. I was dressed in sweat pants and a comfy shirt. While we took a break at a rest area, I saw another family apparently on their way to Thanksgiving dinner due to the way they were dressed up in nice clothing. I particularly noticed the teenage girls who dressed themselves femininely and had lovely long hair. It suddenly made me think, what affect does my clothing have on others?

Next time I go on a long car trip, I might still wear my comfy pants. They are simply the most practical for long trips in a crowded car. But whenever I go out in public back at home, I try and consider what affect my clothes are going to have on others. Will my clothes make me blend in, stand out to draw attention, or inspire men to be gentlemen and women to dress and act as ladies? I have the choice. Perhaps it is just me, but when I see a girl walk by in a feminine outfit (generally a modest skirt) she stands out, in a good way. I’m guessing most people notice her as well; she is just too different not to notice.

Sure, I can wear what I feel most comfortable in, but the Christian life isn't about my comforts. Instead Christians are to take dominion over this sinful earth. Changing the world for the cause of Christ.

There is ongoing debate on what girls should wear, always skirts? Usually wear skirts? Or pants are always fine to wear? There is not a right answer. I believe it is a personal decision how you believe you should dress, taking in numerous factors depending on your personal life situation. But Christians should not stay as close to the world’s idea of “modesty” as they can. We need to be as close to Godliness as we can. That said, I don’t believe we should go around in burqas with absolutely no skin showing. I’ve heard it said your clothes should be tight enough to show you are a woman, but loose enough to show you are a lady. If a non-christian looks into your closet, they should notice something different from the rest of the world.

In my opinion the Duchess of Cambridge has had an effect on the minds of women today due to her beautiful and feminine wardrobe.

Here is what Elizabeth Botkin from Visionary Daughters says about the Duchess of Cambridge:

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"The fashion leadership of Kate Middleton holds a lesson for every Christian girl. As wife to Prince William and presumed future queen of England, Kate is in a position of representing Great Britain to the world. Every inch of her appearance, from her hairstyle to her fingernails, sends the world a message about the nation and the monarchy, the laws and the traditions, the culture and the history she represents – messages the world scrutinizes keenly. As ambassador to the crown, she can’t dress to merely express her individuality, follow the trends every other girl is following, or refuse to think about clothes at all. Her job demands making deliberate and strategic decisions about what message to send through every detail – from her traditional little British hats to her sleek High Street heels.

source

The truth is, every Christian girl has just as much to represent as Kate Middleton. Our King is no less ruling, and we are no less ambassadors. Unlike Kate, we don’t have to spend £122,000 per year to represent our King and our heavenly citizenship. Like Kate, however, we also don’t belong to ourselves. We were bought with a price and represent the One Who bought us. Like Kate, we can’t afford to let others make these decisions for us. And like Kate, we have a world watching. What message are they picking up about our Lord, His edicts, and our loyalties?"

source

This is not to say Kate's wardrobe is impeccable, in my opinion some of her dresses are short and her necklines low. But she does dress like a lady--dresses, skirts, and adorable hats. And in the picture above all she is doing is playing various sports with the British olympic team, yet she has on a cute dress and heels. If someone walked into the room dressed like her, or in ratty jeans and a t-shirt, who would you trust, who would you rather be friends with?

So girls, next time you walk out, consciously dress for Christ's kingdom, show everyone who you belong to, that you are cherished, loved, content in being a woman, and are a priceless jewel in Christ's kingdom. 

Royal Hats

Have you figured out yet that my blog is rather random? 

I write about various things that go through my mind; today it is hats. Why do royals get to wear all the hats? They look lovely in them. 

The Duchess of Cambridge's dress and hat today at St. Pauls for the Queen's Jubilee service was stunning. I admire her pumps whenever she wears them too.  

And coat tails, you hardly ever see men in coat tails. I think they look quite handsome and dapper in them. Men out there, please bring them back. 

Princess Eugenie looked lovely in her purple dress and adorable hat. 

Princess Ameerah looks stunning in pink with her black hair. 

Guys out there, don't go for the picnic blanket look on the head, not the most handsome look

You can wear cute fun hats

Or elegant simple hats

Or really weird hats...

The point is, I think Americans should wear more hats, both men and women. Perhaps I should take responsibility and go out tomorrow and buy a hat and wear it, then maybe everyone else would as well. What do you think?

I am...

{Anticipating}

I am getting contacts on Wednesday! I’m quite ready not to have to wear glasses (I don’t go anywhere without them) and be able to buy more than one pair of sunglasses that don’t cost $100 because they are prescription.

A rafting trip with friends, I’m looking forward to being on the water and meeting new friends.

{Sewing}

I never seem to finish up my sewing projects; I just keep hopping from one to another. My biggest project at the moment is an Edwardian tea dress for this event. Currently, I am trying to figure out a skirt design. (I’m not using a pattern). A couple of years ago I found some beautiful fabric on sale and haven’t ever used it, now I finally have the chance!

{Learning}

My life today does not last forever. A few of my friends are moving away this summer. I currently can’t imagine life without them. In times past, God has brought something even better when my life has changed; I simply have to have faith that He has plans for me.

{Hot}

During winter I wish for the warmth of summer, I always seem to forget what life is like when it's 97 degrees with 90% humidity. I generally compare it to walking through hot pea soup. Thankfully, the beach is only 5 minutes away! And my family takes full advantage of the beautiful blue-green cool water.

{Baking}

After picking three buckets of blueberries on Saturday I baked a blueberry pie for my dad who’s favorite dessert is blueberry pie.

I have pretty much only ate blueberries on Saturday. I ate while I picked, and the bucket has been sitting on the counter in a perfect place to snitch every time I walk by. I’ll probably wake up blue tomorrow… 

{Thankful}

For the ultimate sacrifice that so many men gave in defense of our country. We went to a Memorial Day picnic today and one of men in his talk pointed out that today, America can probably win any war. During the revolutionary war, and many other wars, men went into battle believing that they could not win, yet the cause was so important to them they went willingly anyway.  

{Worried}

If have been watching the weather, you’ve probably heard of the tropical storm Beryl. Currently it is headed dead for us on Wednesday. Normally this does not bother me. But the hurricane season hasn’t even started! I’m wondering if this is a sign of this hurricane season being an extra busy one. We’re due for a big hurricane soon.

I’m also worried for the blueberries. On Saturday there were ripe berries, but there were way more that were still green that will be ripe in a week or so. The branches are drooping there are so many berries. I hope this storm does not destroy the crop!

The Two Percy Heroes

Anne- girl from her blog Scribblings is hosting a “Hero week” where bloggers can contribute posts about their favorite heroes in period dramas (for those who don’t know these include Jane Austen, Elizabeth Gaskell, Anne of Green Gables, The Scarlet Pimpernel and anything set 80+ years ago). Here is my slightly different contribution to Hero Week. 

I read a number of “fan” blogs about these movies. Almost without question everyone’s favorite hero is Sir Percy of the Scarlet Pimpernel (and then Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley). I am going to introduce you to an entirely new hero who does not beat The Scarlet Pimpernel in heroism, but ties with him. Trust me, that is INCREDIBLY hard to do and I do not say it without careful thought and consideration. Turns out, in one of the other most amazing books ever written, the main character is also named Percy. Enter Captain Ralph Percy of the book, To Have and to Hold.  

*Dramatic music plays*

Captain Percy is a thirty-something gentleman who has come from England to help settle Jamestown in 1607. He has spent his life fighting Indians, building a settlement, hunting, and general "Jamestown" stuff. He has never married and has never considered it due to the severe lack of women in Jamestown at that time.

That all changes in 1621 when a ship of 80 women is sent from England to help populate the new world. At the advice of a friend, he goes to seek a wife. His future wife happens to be the quintessential damsel in distress (told you this was a good book). After rescuing this fair maiden from a spineless rascal trying to steal a kiss he decides he has found his woman. His first words to his future wife are, “Madam, will you marry me?” How would you like to meet your husband that way?! Despite this hasty introduction, they marry that afternoon and travel back to his/their home in Weyanoke, just outside of Jamestown.

Turns out that his wife, the former Lady Jocelyn Leigh, has a secret past which brings dangerous ramifications. Without giving anything away, a man travels from England to take her back, even though she is already married to Captain Percy. When he married her, Captain Percy promised before God to protect, honor, and cherish her and while he is alive will not let her be dishonored, despite the fact they do not "love" each other.

What ensues involves pirates, shipwrecks, sword fights, panthers, and Indian attacks. All the while they trust in God to protect them and give them wisdom for the next step. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

That said, I can now get to the point of this post, why Captain Percy is a true hero and worthy to stand next to Sir Percy Blakeney.

*

Most importantly, Captain Percy is a man of God. He always believes God will be faithful, even if that means he dies. Throughout the book he and his friends pray for protection and forGod’s will to be done, whatever it might come.

*

He always considers the safety and comfort of his wife before his own. Shortly after their marriage, Sir Percy must make a decision whether to give his wife up to return to England against her will, or be willing to sacrifice his life in order to protect her and her honor. Because he is a man of his word, he chooses the latter despite the fact it very well might cost him his life.

“My wife and I were married lawfully in the sight of God and of man. What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder, she is my wife!”

*

Personally, one of the main qualifications for a hero is that he must be able fight with swords. One of my favorite parts of movies are the sword fights, I’m just fascinated by them, not sure why but they look so manly and brave. : ) Captain Percy most definitely meets this requirement, in fact he is the best swordsman in Jamestown. I’ll just say he must use his sword many times throughout the book.

*note to future husband: whoever and wherever you are, consider taking sword fighting lessons, you never know when those skills might come in handy*

*

Captain Percy loves his wife as Christ loves the Church by being willing to lay down his life for her. In one of the most beautiful lines of the book Captain Percy bravely states, “The last drop of my blood will be poured out in defense of your life, you are my wife. " Now whether he actually has to lay down his life or is just willing to do it if the time comes, I won’t say. You’ll just have to read the book. 

Now because many of the readers of this post will be avid Sir Percy fans I shall attempt to show you the many similarities between these two Percys and attempt to convince you to put Captain Percy next to Sir Percy as #1 in your hero lists.

They are both married

This aspect is one of my favorites of these two books--both these men are married, they love and protect their wives, there is no suspense whether or not they will get together in the end, they already are and will always be til death parts them. So many stories today are about meeting Prince Charming but nothing happens after the wedding. Instead, these books show the ups and downs of marriage and how a husband is to love his wife. I personally find this infinitely more romantic for a husband to fight for his wife then simply the girl he has most recently loved that he might or might not marry in the end. 

They are both mighty dangerous with the sword

Is there anything more to be said? I just love swords, fighting for the woman you love with a sword sounds way better than any other way if you ask me. 

They live over 200 years ago which mean their wives wear gorgeous costumes!

Why do teenagers go crazy over Bella in "Twilight" in her wedding gown? Because every girl deep down inside loves to wear long dresses and feel pretty. Instead of having one pretty dress in a movie, imagine every dress being like that. Now Captain Percy is from a book not a movie. Consequently, I get to design all his wife's clothes in my head, let me tell you, they are gorgeous. 

Creative Schemes

I really don’t want to give away any spoilers so I’ll just say that Captain Percy is just as creative as Sir Percy in escaping dangerous scrapes and has just as many creative disguises.

Like the prison reunion scene in El Dorado? Read to Have and to Hold. : )

After reading this I hope you will at least consider reading this wonderful book!!

*quick note, I do not like the cover of this book, my book is older than this and has a better cover, thankfully you can just take the book sleeve off!*

Missionary Lives

These collages seem to be popping everywhere for moms, students, doctors, and everything in between. I found this one of missionary wives quite funny. 

I especially appreciated the "what nationals think we do." This is one of the biggest challenges of being a missionary. Should they live just like those around them, or use their resources to build a comfortable house because labor and supplies are so cheap? Nobody seems to know the answer. 

And in regards to the "what the secular world thinks we do," if you ever ask a missionary what they do they will generally not say, "I am sharing God's love with the people of ____." In my experience, missionaries always have a job such as a pilot, doctor, translator, electrician, etc. in which they show Christ's love through their actions.

"What my friends think we do." This one cracked me up because it's both true and false. When you are living in a Third World country you become more like the culture whether you intend to or not. It's not until you compare yourself to Americans (or whatever your home country is) that you realize how you've changed. So while we may not eat tarantulas, some of the things that seem normal, actually aren't.

The "what supporters think we do," strikes me as fairly accurate. Compared to our modern American homes, missionaries do live in dirty, not very nice houses. But when compared to the typical mud hut down the road, the missionary's  house suddenly seems like a beautiful home.

Love and Romance

After my post about the book The Inheritance I started thinking about the idea of romance. Whenever I hear the word “romance,” my mind jumps to two images. The first is of a couple at our church that are old enough to have all their children out of the house. One Sunday I watched them walk back to their car holding hands. Watching them made me want that type of marriage, a marriage that doesn’t become boring after a couple of years. They have held hands during both the happiest and heart-breaking days of their lives together. To me, holding hands today, represents all the other times they have needed to hold each other's hands for support. No other person on the planet can appreciate what they have gone through, except each other. When I imagine the romance of marriage, that is what I think of, holding hands. It seems to symbolizes where strength and comfort are found.

Another image that is burned in my mind happened this past summer at a wedding my family attended. One of the groomsmen and bridesmaids were married to each other and had five children under the age of eight. One might think that with that many children and trying to get them ready for a wedding the parents would be tired and frustrated. But I will never forget the look on the husband’s face as his wife walked down the aisle. His beaming face showed that he was head over heels in love with this woman, both as a friend and lover.

He truly looked more in love than the groom did watching his bride walk down the aisle. It was not because the groom didn’t love the bride, because he did immensely. Yet, he didn’t have the same knowledge and understanding that the couple who had been married 10+ years had. Raising five children and educating them at home brought the couple closer together, because they had had to work through many more things than the couple getting married. Instead of letting differences drive them apart they used them to draw them closer to God and then each other. As she walked down the aisle I imagine he thought of their own wedding day, and how much more he loved her today, and how much more he would love her in ten more years.

I pray that, Lord willing, when I have been married 30 years my beloved will still look at me the way he did on our wedding day, but with even more love in his eyes and thankfulness to God for all that He has done in our lives and will continue to do till death do us part. 

Its (not that) Complicated

For the year 2012, my New Year's resolution is to read one book a week. I love to read but so often I do not find the right time to pick up a book. This year I hope will be different. I will also write a review on every book and post it here on my blog. 

This week the book is one I received as a Christmas present,

It's (not that) Complicated:

How to relate to guys in a healthy, sane, and biblical way

This book was written to point single girls towards the Bible's principles on the interaction between the sexes. Here are some of the points they make:

The world does not revolve around females or males, it revolves around God.   Underneath that, "Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:9.

Quite often in today's world girls make up a fairy tale husband--Mr. Darcy, Edward Cullen, etc. These men seem perfect yet they do not exist in real life, the man you will marry will be a wretched sinner... just like you.

Women complain today there aren't any more gentlemen left in the world, but perhaps it has not occurred to them that it's partly their fault. Men were designed to lead and work (Genesis 1), but in the early 20th century there were women suffrages. Women argued they were the same as men and therefore should be allowed to do everything men did. This took the uniqueness and importance of the men's job away from them and since the women were the "same" as them so men have no reason to be chivalrous; women are "one of the guys" now. 

Similarly, girls complain there are no real men left and yet they think their brothers are annoying and consistently try and get away from them. It turns out that these annoying little brothers are the future men. Consequently, if we help by encouraging our brothers to be men, there will be more real men in the world.

The book isn't called It's (not that) Hard. Relationships are hard, but "the more we strive and struggle for purity, selflessness, and God's perspective, the more things become Not That Complicated. 

Don't be like the Proverbs 7 woman who is an adulteress and prowls for her next "lover". Yet, understand we could become like her.

If you are talking to a young man, who is eligible, imagine that his wife is standing next to him. Would you still say the same things and act the same way? What if your husband stood next to you? Proverbs 31: 12 says, "She does her husband good and not harm ALL the days of her life." This means before she knows who he is! She should not try to attract the attention of a man she does not know she is going to marry. 

Many young women refuse to talk with their parents about their feelings. Turns out, whether we think so or not, they've probably been in the same situation before and they can give biblical counsel.

Be the woman that a man you want to marry would desire. In other words, if you want a man that is strong and steadfast and only has eyes for you, it's not fair for you to be batting your eyes at any eligible man that walks by. Do you want a man who wants a wife who spends most of her time at a job outside of the home? Or one that wants to come home to a home cooked meal with his wife and children that he loves and provides for?

Make friends with guys. Look at them as brothers in Christ instead of only possible husbands.

As single women, our goal in life should not be to get married and if we do not then our whole life has been a failure. God's plans are not ours. If it is His will for you to get married, you will marry at exactly the time he ordains to the man He has chosen for you. No amount of wishing and daydreaming can change that. Therefore our main goal should be to bring God glory and to further His kingdom.


And one last thing, if you are not familiar with the idea of courtship or desire a career over marriage, this book probably won't make much sense to you. It's a wonderful book, but I would suggest other books before you read this one.