Its (not that) Complicated

For the year 2012, my New Year's resolution is to read one book a week. I love to read but so often I do not find the right time to pick up a book. This year I hope will be different. I will also write a review on every book and post it here on my blog. 

This week the book is one I received as a Christmas present,

It's (not that) Complicated:

How to relate to guys in a healthy, sane, and biblical way

This book was written to point single girls towards the Bible's principles on the interaction between the sexes. Here are some of the points they make:

The world does not revolve around females or males, it revolves around God.   Underneath that, "Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:9.

Quite often in today's world girls make up a fairy tale husband--Mr. Darcy, Edward Cullen, etc. These men seem perfect yet they do not exist in real life, the man you will marry will be a wretched sinner... just like you.

Women complain today there aren't any more gentlemen left in the world, but perhaps it has not occurred to them that it's partly their fault. Men were designed to lead and work (Genesis 1), but in the early 20th century there were women suffrages. Women argued they were the same as men and therefore should be allowed to do everything men did. This took the uniqueness and importance of the men's job away from them and since the women were the "same" as them so men have no reason to be chivalrous; women are "one of the guys" now. 

Similarly, girls complain there are no real men left and yet they think their brothers are annoying and consistently try and get away from them. It turns out that these annoying little brothers are the future men. Consequently, if we help by encouraging our brothers to be men, there will be more real men in the world.

The book isn't called It's (not that) Hard. Relationships are hard, but "the more we strive and struggle for purity, selflessness, and God's perspective, the more things become Not That Complicated. 

Don't be like the Proverbs 7 woman who is an adulteress and prowls for her next "lover". Yet, understand we could become like her.

If you are talking to a young man, who is eligible, imagine that his wife is standing next to him. Would you still say the same things and act the same way? What if your husband stood next to you? Proverbs 31: 12 says, "She does her husband good and not harm ALL the days of her life." This means before she knows who he is! She should not try to attract the attention of a man she does not know she is going to marry. 

Many young women refuse to talk with their parents about their feelings. Turns out, whether we think so or not, they've probably been in the same situation before and they can give biblical counsel.

Be the woman that a man you want to marry would desire. In other words, if you want a man that is strong and steadfast and only has eyes for you, it's not fair for you to be batting your eyes at any eligible man that walks by. Do you want a man who wants a wife who spends most of her time at a job outside of the home? Or one that wants to come home to a home cooked meal with his wife and children that he loves and provides for?

Make friends with guys. Look at them as brothers in Christ instead of only possible husbands.

As single women, our goal in life should not be to get married and if we do not then our whole life has been a failure. God's plans are not ours. If it is His will for you to get married, you will marry at exactly the time he ordains to the man He has chosen for you. No amount of wishing and daydreaming can change that. Therefore our main goal should be to bring God glory and to further His kingdom.


And one last thing, if you are not familiar with the idea of courtship or desire a career over marriage, this book probably won't make much sense to you. It's a wonderful book, but I would suggest other books before you read this one.